THIS LIFE BEER, PATHETIC
...a blog-like thing, but you know, like, better...
Beer Date March 3, 2017:
"RETURN OF THE PATHETIC"
Today's post pairs nicely with a good ol' hoppy IPA, because sometimes when you're away too long, you got to go back to what got this shit started in the first place, right?
It's been over six years since the very last This Life, Pathetic entry was posted on Blogspot, and as much as I hate to admit it, I fucking miss that shit. There may not be a single other person in the world that shares that feeling, but I don't care. I'm starting it the fuck up again with the word "BEER" in the title instead of "LIFE," and there isn't a single goddamn thing you can do about it.
Look, I stole all the shitty pictures from the original blog, too!
I'm gonna start writing about whatever the fuck I want to write about whenever I want to write about it, because there is just too much goddamn stuff rolling around in my head that needs to get the hell out! Some people will be happy and some will be sad, but most will not give the shittiest little shit of shits!
Yep, same ol' overuse of profanity to mask the writer's lack of a vocabulary.
And yes, the best part of this whole post is to say that I have nothing to say except for the fact that I'm telling you that I'm starting up this thing again! Yay!
Still more effort than James Franco, am I right? Nah. Probably not.
Okay, fine. One quick little rant before I go...
There should be a $5,000 fine for any asshole who runs a red light only to end up stuck in the middle of the intersection, blocking traffic for those who now have the green light. Seriously, fuck those people. They are worse than ISIS (mostly). I know what you're saying, "Hey, Dan. I've done that once or twice and it was a total accident and I'm not an asshole and/or worse than ISIS (mostly)."
This guy's still worse than ISIS (mostly).
And to that I say, "Okay, so you're tied with ISIS. But still an asshole." Yes, $5,000 would be a bit excessive for those who accidentally once in a blue moon when they're caught not paying attention, but I got to make this omelette, so I'm breaking as many eggs as it takes. Your accidental five grand is a small sacrifice to pay for the greater good.
Yes, I really did write about how gross onions are. Fuck onions.
Look, traffic sucks. Especially here in L.A., but I also don't think there's anyone out there anywhere saying, "I love traffic. It makes me cum all over!" Just because you're in a rush does not mean that no one else is, and you blocking an intersection to catch a light blocks traffic so others completely miss their light, thus creating MORE FUCKING TRAFFIC. You're not getting anyone anywhere faster, so just please stop. Or I'm charging you $5,000. Fuck it. I'm charging you $5,000 anyway. I accept paypal.
Seriously, does ANYONE remember these pictures?
How was that? I know. Not my best. But they will keep getting better and better and you won't be able to contain yourself. Promise. But that's all I have for now. I was just too excited to NOT share with you I was doing this again even if I didn't have time to write a worthwhile entry....
TO BE CONTINUED...
(I mean, not THIS entry, but, like, the blog itself)